[ Music: Tori Amos - Goodbye Pisces ]
[ Mood: Tired ]

Whee. My first post. Hooray.

I’m kandi, of regret-less.org. Yay. It’s not my real name. I’d use my real name, I would, except it’s pretty “unique” — thus if one of my offline friends were to, say, google for it, they’d find my website . . . and I’d prefer it if they didn’t. =)

Basically, I made this blog to . . . well, blog. I know, I know. I could just blog at my domain. But, I felt that my domain was way too public, for some reason. I always held back on my thoughts at that domain. I just don’t like people knowing the “real” me on a place so . . . public. Heh.

So, I created this subdomain, xo. Why “xo” — kisshug? I don’t know. It was simple. It looked cute. Yay. And I know, technically, since both are on the world wide web anyway, “xo” is as much public as my domain is . . . But I don’t think that way, see. See, I’m perfectly comfortable playing the role of the “nice” webmistress on regret-less.org, and playing “myself” right here, regardless of who reads it. Does that make sense? Probably not. In short, I’m way more guarded on regret-less.org, than I will be here. Here, if you want, you can assume I’m a bitch. No worries. =)

That’s not to say that the “me” at my domain is “fake”. Not at all. It’s still the “real” me — just more closed, I think. More guarded, as I’ve said. Here, I’ll be talking about everything and nothing. Probably not a lot about my life. It’s pretty dull. I like words. Words are cool. Hence, you’ll find a lot of words here. =) Edit: Ah, fuck it. I got sick of the Pucca layout looking like shit in Firefox — which is the browser I use. And, because I was too lazy to fix it for Firefox compatibility, I decided to just bring this blog onto my actual domain. It’s pretty! ^^ Obviously because it wasn’t made by me. =P

Pretty much, as I type, I’ll be typing to myself. Like, a person that talks to themselves. A lot. I don’t care if YOU read it, I don’t care if YOU don’t read it. This is my venting place, voicing my opinions on subjects that randomly pop into my head, not so randomly. Opinions are something that I always have, but never express much to “keep peace”, I guess. I like peace. A lot. Note: A lot of people get offended by my opinions, thus why I don’t voice them much. A lot of people also think when I voice my opinions, I belittle them. Honestly, if I did, they were being stupid. Honestly, if I did, but did not intend to, I wasn’t aware I was. And they’re just being stupid. =)

I guess I’ll state a little chunk about myself, since I entitled this, “Introductory post rant . . .”. You know, for the record. Well, you can look at the left sidebar, under “about”, to get a brief overview. I’m all of those. I’m also a walking contradiction. I contradict myself so much, it’s unbelieveable. What can I say, I’m mutable. =) One day I’ll love something, the next day I’ll hate it. One day I’ll have a certain point of view about something, and the next it’d have changed. Again. Oh, the ups and downs of me.

I hate making decisions. I’m very indecisive. I hate conflict. I hate stupidity, which of course, leads to conflict. With me, anyhow. Be stupid, and you’ll annoy me. To no end. I read between the lines. Things aren’t normally black and white for me, but many things are. See what I mean about being a walking contradiction? Annoying, hey? =)

I always think I’m right. Unless someone proves me wrong. It sucks. Not really. Here’s an example: I believe chocolates don’t give you pimples. My friend religiously thinks they do. Stupid argument, right? I thought so too. Ahh. Well, I printed off scientific fact that they don’t give you pimples and showed it to her. She still believed chocolates give you pimples. I still believe I’m right. That’s what I think is one of my “bad” traits. However . . .

Using the same scenario, if we lived in another world, and I thought chocolates didn’t give you pimples, but without proof and thus carrying this opinion for years, and then my friend happens to have proof that chocolates do give you pimples, and showed it to me — I’ll happily change my opinion to the right one, that chocolates do give you pimples. I regard this as one of my “good” traits. That was a lot of italics. Hmm.

So, I like it when someone corrects me — but only if I myself believe that they are correct, and I am in the wrong. Otherwise, if I just think they’re being stupid, I will firmly stick to my very first belief. Of course, I don’t tell them that they’re stupid. Just something along the lines of, “Well, we’re all entitled to our own opinions.” Because I’m nice, and all that. =) (I do honestly use that line and mean it, though — for I do respect others’ opinions. Just, sometimes, I say it when I totally disagree with someone’s idiotic opinion. Doesn’t happen often, but it does. I try not to mingle with stupid people.)

I have a modesty problem. I also have an ego problem. I know when I’m good at something — and I definitely know when I suck at something. But, not surprisingly, my ego comes from my intellect. As you can see under “about”, I’ve written “intellectual snob”. That is true. Not that I’m so fucking smart — there are plenty of people smarter than me. Plenty. It’s just, I know I’m above average (well, most people are just average, so it’s not that hard to be above . . ..). You know those kids at school that get, “You did good. Everyone knows you did good. You always do good.” from everyone else? I’m one of those kids. Except, of course, I always reply with a, “No, I think I’m going to fail.” Not because I’m fishing for compliments — not at all, I don’t think I ever do that (my close friends might disagree . . .). It’s because I suffer from an inferiority complex. No matter how much I know I’m good at something, I always always doubt myself. I always think there’s someone out there that’s better than me. I always think that I can never do enough.

I think I’m pretty well-adjusted, for the most part, though. I’m modest most of the time, but there are times when I tend to say something egotistic. It’s like one side of myself is modest, and so it cringes (a lot) when the other side is being an egotistic idiot. I try to keep that part of myself in check. Overall, though, I don’t think I’m as egotistic as most people. But hey, maybe I’m wrong. I loathe egotistic people. Actually, I think I loathe egotistic people that can’t back it up, even more. =) I like a guy that’s confident in himself, maybe even borderline egotistic, but never egotistic for the majority of the time. That is one of my biggest turn offs. I can’t stand arrogance.

I also criticise myself for not being smart enough. I don’t know everything in the world, and I know I never will. I have a tremendous respect for intelligent people. This does not mean intellect on just an academic level. I mean intellect as common sense. I respect good people, in other words. No, you don’t have to have the same beliefs as I do, you don’t have to be the same gender, same race, same whatever, I don’t care. Just as long as you’re a good person with common sense, I will respect you. The person I respect most is my friend, Alisha. =)

Oh, how about the “snob” part of “intellectual snob”? If you’re stupid, I really can’t respect you. I just can’t. It’s very difficult for me to. I have a lot of friends that aren’t really “smart”. I like them, as friends . . . but when it comes down to it, I don’t take their opinions all that seriously. This is one of my flaws. I have this friend who is . . . well, very below average in that respect. Every second sentence that comes out of her mouth is out-right stupid. Now, I used to sit next to her in two of my classes. It infuriated me to no end. And, of course, I would always belittle her. I couldn’t help it. Honestly, I wish I didn’t have this flaw, and I do try to work on it, by keeping as quiet about things as I can . . . but sometimes, I need to let off steam, and correct her on what she’s saying. And then I get, “OK, -insert my name- . . . *eyeroll*” And I know I’m the one treating her like crap, and I’m the one that doesn’t respect her . . . it disappoints me that I can’t respect her. =|

On the other hand, if you’re smart, preferably smarter than me — I will worship you. =) I will think, “We need more people like you in this world.” I will respect you immensely. Too much, probably. It probably won’t mean anything to you, but it will mean a lot to me. I like having people to respect. It’s a nice reminder that tells me the entire world isn’t surrounded by stupidity afterall.

I over-analyse. I over-worry. I do both way too much. I analyse both myself, and other people. For the most part, I’m a pretty good judge of character. I observe a lot of people. Before I befriend you, I will observe you, and see if you’re a good person. I carry first-impressions, until I get to know the person better. If I get to know them better. If not, I will always have that first opinion of them, until they show me otherwise. That could take weeks, months, years. I stick with my opinions.

So, what have I missed? I said I was highly opinionated (pretty obvious, anyway) . . . what else? Oh, I’m addicted to smileys. =) =| =( And so forth. I also swear. A lot. I don’t think swearing shows illiteracy. I like swearing. =) So if you find that I swear here, don’t be surprised. Or offended. The weird thing is, I don’t really like it when other people swear . . . I don’t know why. =| I’m weird.

I also tend to make fun of those I love. Unless I state that I hate them, when I make fun of them, in which case you can assume that I’m telling the truth and really do hate them. Otherwise — I love the people I make fun of. If you knew me in real life, the more I make fun of you, the more I love you. I take the piss out of my best friends. That’s my way of showing affection. =) I’m also loyal to a fault. I can also see through a lot of people. So, say, if I were your friend, but I suspect that you’re merely using me for whatever reasons, and YOU suspect that I suspect this, and then something happens and I end up “backstabbing” you — you can assume that yes, I knew that you were pretty much fake, and though I acted as if we were friends, I saw right through you and would backstab you if necessary to “save” another friend whom I consider true. I shouldn’t use the term “backstab” — it’s quite nasty, and not something I like happening. I just don’t like people taking me for granted. If I let you “in” to my circle, I’m your friend for life. Do something bad, I’ll still be by your side. Just as long as you stick by my side. =)

I like being appreciated. That’s a weakness. I get obsessed with a lot of stuff. I’m very passionate about my beliefs and opinions. I’m also very thin-skinned — incredibly sensitive. Perhaps not emotional, but very sensitive. I hate being sensitive. That’s a weakness too. In fact, overall, I do think I’m a weak person. Can’t be helped, I suppose (see what I mean?).

I appreciate people who take the time and effort to understand me — or at the very least, be understanding. This is where most people fall short of my expectations. I always look at arguments (and everything else) from both (or more, if applicable) sides. I may not like the other person’s view, but I will accept it as theirs. I will try to understand them and their point of view. Not many people do this for me in return, thus I feel very short-changed. =(

I try to be nice. As I said before, I hate conflict. Thus, I try to be nice. And I will be — unless you tick me off with some comment or whatever. And even then, I will still try to be nice, and sort it out with you. If YOU decide to be an idiot and basically clam up and not respond to my pleas of peace, basically being a butthole — well, there’s not much I can do, is there? I won’t be nice anymore. I will also have lost whatever respect I might have for you. Again, probably not much damage to YOUR psyche, but it is indeed to mine.

I’m a very open-minded person, or perhaps just understanding is a better word. I don’t think anyone should be discriminated against based on those usual things such as race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. In my fantasy world, everyone ought to be understanding and accepting. You don’t like “gays”? Keep away from them if you want. Mind your own business. You don’t need to verbally or physically insult them. I know we’re all human, and we all have our flaws. Some things we can stand, some things we can’t. For instance, though I’m very supportive of gay relationships — I don’t really like it much when guys crossdress. ._. Yep. It rubs me the wrong way. But having said that, if a guy wants to crossdress, or even have a sex change — though I don’t find it quite appealing, I understand that it is his decision, his choice. I accept it. I won’t discriminate against him. I respect his decision, his need if you will. WHY CAN’T PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THIS? There is no need to go out and bash someone because they think differently than you. Gah.

Some might call me a feminist. Indeed, I do feel strongly about women’s place in the world. And you can be sure I’ll make a post later on, elaborating on my opinions of feminism. =)

Every post I make here will be another fragment of a lost soul . . . hence my current blog title. ^_^ A lot of the things I talk about probably don’t relate to each other — or feel very mediocre. Oh well. =P This is, after all, a place where I can blog about all the random things that pop in and out of my head. They don’t necessarily relate. =P Some might even seem childish — hey, I’m a teenager. =P And though I do think I’m more mature than most, I have my bouts of immaturity. =P Just because someone’s mature, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the more “immature” aspects of life . . . =)

Well, that’s it for now. I think this concludes my lengthy autobiography rant. =)

[ Music: Billy Gilman - Awaken The Music ]
[ Mood: Sleepy ]

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

I read it for three days, on and off. eBooks rule. =) (Not really, there were tonnes of mistakes . . . anyway.) It was good. Not great, but good. Definitely better than Order of the Phoenix — but then, anything could’ve been better than that book. That, was crap. Utter crap. I’d say, Half-Blood Prince would come after Prisoner of Azkaban (my favourite book to date) and Goblet of Fire — probably in the realms of Philosopher’s Stone and Chamber of Secrets. As I said, it was good but not great. I liked it.

Spoilers ahead.

Just to put you in my mind frame, this is my perceptions of the characters:

I like Hermione (my favourite character). I like Ron (I used to hate him, actually, but started to love him when the movies came out — c’mon, who CAN’T love Rupert Grint? He’s the best — child, at the very least — actor on Harry Potter. You can’t disagree with that!) I like Remus. I like Draco. I like Snape.

I don’t really like Harry. I hate Ginny. I hate Fleur. I don’t think I actually hate her character, though. Just the way she speaks. =| If you can’t tell by now, I’m a perfectionist. I love the English language. I loathe it when people mangle said langauge. Fleur does not speak English very well . . . and that’s why she annoys me. =| I just hate reading and interpreting her speech. -_- Anyhow, carrying on . . .

So, then, it would be very clear that Harry/Ginny did NOT interest me in the very least. Actually, J.K. Rowling’s writing was below par in the romance department. I don’t think she’s actually one of the greatest writers of all time — she’s very good with her imagination, and her puzzles and riddles, etc. I’ll give her that. But simple writing, sentence structure, flow? Not really.

Ginny, Ginny, Ginny . . . I’ve never liked her from the start. And now, with Half-Blood Prince? Eh. I can tell you one thing — that was NOT Ginny. It was NOT. It was some original character disguised as Ginny! Yes, you must agree. =P This Ginny is a slut. A beautiful slut. Since when has Ginny been beautiful? HOW CAN SHE BE BEAUTIFUL WHEN HER BROTHERS AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE “CUTE”? Yes, I know some siblings are more appealing than others, but still. The Ginny in Half-Blood Prince was just wrong. Wrong!

I think she was meant to cover a plot hole. We couldn’t have Harry being DISTRACTED from his duties for NO REASON now could we? In comes Ginny. Whee! So, J.K. Rowling gives us all this Harry/Ginny love, and barely any Ron/Hermione! RON/HERMIONE IS THE STANDARD! =P They didn’t really “get together”, did they? Well, we all know they’ll be making babies in the seventh and final book anyway (possible exaggeration). =) Go R/Hr! =)

Now, the whole Snape fiasco. It’s so very fucking obvious that Snape is good. So why are some people so oblivious and saying things like, “See! I knew he was bad all along!”? It seriously seriously astounds me that anyone would be so daft as to think this.

Snape is a triple agent. Or quadruple. One of the two. I can’t work it out, my brain hurts. I think it’s quadruple. Working for Voldemort-Dumbledore-Voldemort-Dumbledore. Yep. =) Anyway, what we know is that Snape is definitely on the good side. If you think otherwise, you are wrong — I’m 99.9% sure of this. =P

If you read the “Unbreakable Vow” part, Snape hesitated when Draco’s mother made her last request — that if Draco were to fail, will Snape complete his mission? Snape made the vow, he couldn’t get out of it, for if he declined, he would blow his cover. So he hesitated for a bit — J.K.’s way of hinting that he didn’t want to — and promised an unbreakable vow.

Potter and friends then find out what an unbreakable vow is — if the person making the vow doesn’t follow it through, they will die. Now, why would the whole Unbreakable Vow thing take place at all if Snape were bad? You’re right, it wouldn’t! =P And Dumbledore has way too much trust in the guy. Too much to just dismiss. Snape’s good, no doubt about it.

If Snape was indeed bad, the “revelations” of that fact was really rushed. It just doesn’t fit. Snape made a vow to protect Draco, and do his job if Draco couldn’t. I’m sure as soon as Snape made the vow, he rushed off to tell Dumbledore. Anyhow, when Dumbledore was “pleading” with Snape — it was just very obvious that he was pleading with Snape to kill him. And that Snape did.

I think Dumbledore told Snape that if it came to that, Snape should kill him. He didn’t want Draco to have to bear that burden, and he didn’t want Snape to die — he’d rather die himself. Because he needed Snape to stay undercover. Dumbledore died for the greater good, obviously. Yep. =P

Anyhow, I’m really looking forward to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire — the movie! =P I loved Cedric Diggory in the book, and was sad when he was killed off. =(

Click here to see Cedric Diggory, in GoF the movie — credit to MuggleNet.com

Cedric is played by some 19 year old guy named Robert Pattinson. Isn’t he yummy? =P At first, I didn’t really think he was good-looking. But then he grew on me. He’s good-looking in an odd kind of way. =|

[ Music: THE SEATBELTS (Scott Matthew) - Is it real? ]
[ Mood: Depressed ]

Stationary Post, Please Ignore. August looked so lonely, so I decided to stick this in to fill it up! =) Original Date is: June 10th, 2005 @ 5:45 PM. So, even before the “Introductory Post” of this blog! XD I just felt like keeping it. =)

So . . . I felt like blogging. This is personal . . . but then hey, this is my personal website, lol . . . There have been many times that I’ve felt I needed a more “personal” and “secret” blog to rant and bitch, one that NO ONE knows about . . . but then that would be pretty pointless. =P But that’s the reason I don’t blog here very often, ’cause I feel my thoughts are too personal . . .

Well, here’s a treat for all those that care to read. =) WARNING: This is pretty long, and there’s an excess of the “f” word . . . particularly towards the end . . .

So, I’ve been absent from school for 3 weeks straight now. 15 days. 3-quarters of a month. And the school has been ringing every day, except, of course, no one picks up . . . Except yesterday, they decided to ring after school had finished, and not during. So, my dad picked up . . . then knocked on my door and said they wanted to talk to me. So like, bullshit I’d talk to them. =P So I didn’t open the door . . .

My mum then comes into my room later at night, and talks about the phone call my dad got. She was all like, they (the school) want me to come back to school ’cause it would be a waste if I drop out now, seeing as I only have 3 months and 2 weeks until Graduation Day (September 23rd) . . . But I don’t know. See, these past 3 weeks have been assessments week . . . I missed out on six assessments in total, one for every subject I have. English Advanced, English Extension I, English Extension II, Modern History, Ancient History, and Community and Family Studies. So, basically . . . if I go back to school on Tuesday next week (Monday is Queen’s birthday), I’d have to do ALL six of the assessments . . . and get ZERO as a mark for all of them. So, what’s the point in going back to school, I say . . .

Well, I wouldn’t get zero and no marks will be deducted at all if I get a Doctor’s Certificate . . . My mum wants me to go to the Doctor’s tomorrow, to get one . . . But I’m thinking, as if he’d give me a certificate for being away for 3 weeks straight. o_o Well, I don’t think my reason for not going to school is liable . . . “Depression” or “Suicidal”. I don’t know, I think schools look upon that as stupid or something . . . And the thing is, I don’t want to tell our family doctor I’ve been depressed and suicidal . . . I told this other doctor we went to ages ago (start of this year) and I fucking cried in front of him . . . =| And I never cry in front of people in public. =| Sigh~

I don’t know if I’m making this out to be trivial or not. o_o ‘Cause I don’t mean to . . . This seriously is fucking with my head. Have you ever felt so hot and trapped that you just want to burst? . . . It’s a really crap feeling, like you can’t get out . . .

If the school did take my excuse and let me do all the assessments with no marks deducted, I’d go back to school . . . But on the other hand, I don’t want to? Like, what’s the point if in another week after going back, I’d want to drop again? I keep continuously being absent . . . It started in 9th grade, where I was first “depressed”. And it’s been like that ever since. 7th and 8th grade were my favourite High School years, I had a blast . . . But then came 9th, and for other reasons I won’t disclosed, I just started going downhill from there . . . I so wanted to drop after I finished 10th grade, ’cause then it wasn’t compulsory for me to go to school . . . But I held on, through 11th grade for my parents . . . But now, it just seems like I’ve been fighting too much? I don’t know, maybe I’m just weak. No, I know I’m weak . . .

This must seem really pathetic for all you out there that are bothering to read this . . . I mean, it’s just school, right? Why can’t she even live through school? . . . I don’t know. I think my expectations are higher than most people . . . And if I do crap in school (like going to get zero for everything) then I might as well not bother? I’m pretty much All or Nothing. That’s why sometimes, I wish I was one of those really dumb people, ’cause I think they’re more content with what they have, then “smart” people that overthink and overanalyse everything.

Basically, my future resides in whether I go back to school or not. Because so far, if I don’t go back to school, I know I will do absolutely nothing. I have no ambition to get anywhere, no drive . . . money doesn’t make me determined, nothing does. So, I’d just live off my parents ’til the end of the year, or whenever they become fed up with me . . . and then I’d kill myself. That’s my future, if I don’t go back to school I know it.

But if I go back to school, I’d be struggling to keep going, you know? And then at the end of it, I get a crappy HSC mark, and a Certificate of Graduation. I guess that’s better to have, to get a job. But what if the job isn’t one I like? I wouldn’t put up with it, so what’s the point . . . The thing is, ’cause I missed those assessments, I will get a crappy HSC mark, and then I won’t get into uni anyway . . .

I want to go to uni not for the education, but just to be able to say and show people that, “I went to uni”. Does that make sense? ‘Cause if you go to uni, obviously, you get better jobs . . . And all your relatives and shit would respect you, no? Basically, if I had my own world and if I had everything my way I’d have school stop at 9th grade education . . . =P No one would have to do all these “elective” courses in 10th/11th/12th grade. Everyone would just join the workforce, skip uni completely etc. . . . =P Seriously, all I want to do is drop out of school, start working at like a photocopy room in a Magazine company, and work my way up to sub-editor . . . I want to be a journalist, sub-editor, or editor . . . just without the necessary requirements, like a Year 12 Graduation Certificate, or a uni degree, you know? I don’t know. I just think most of the crap they feed you at senior high school and uni are bull . . . (And why the fuck would I want to pay $20 000 for 3 years at uni?)

I hate school. School makes me want to make my brain explode. They make us learn the most useless shit . . . Ugh. You know what I want to learn? Editing skills. I want to fucking know every “rule” to writing paragraphs, constructing sentences, etc. All that shit. THEY SHOULD TEACH THAT IN ENGLISH INSTEAD OF ALL THE TEXTS. I mean what can texts do? Just teach us the god damn rules to the foundation of English . . . we need that more than knowing what “Wuthering Heights” is about. But then, that’s just me.

So what am I going to do? I have no idea. If I just drop out of school completely, there’s a huge wave of relief . . . But then when Graduation Day passes, I’ll have the knowledge that my FRIENDS have graduated and I will NEVER. That kinda sucks. Yeah, kinda. x_X I don’t know what’s wrong with me . . . I don’t know why I’m still depressed. I’ve isolated myself in my room . . . I fucking hate this world. I don’t like going out. People make me sad. I just don’t like people . . . Why can’t life just be simple? The meaning of life fucks with my head . . . there is no meaning.

I think we’re just another insignificant life form, only our brains were created more “complex” than those we call “animals”. I don’t believe in God. I hope I don’t offend anyone, but I don’t. I believe in evolution. I believe that we’re just useless organisms created out of the ever changing universe. There’s no meaning to life. People can argue and say the meaning is to . . . enjoy life? Create bonds with people? Reproduce? But in the end, it doesn’t fucking matter what you do in life . . . ’cause at the end, like everyone else, you’re fucking dead. Nothing fucking matters. If you die at 3 yeards old, 17 years old, or 101 years old, it doesn’t matter how long you were alive for . . . ’cause you’re fucking dead now. And all those that will “mourn” you, “remember” you and “cherish” you . . . they’ll die too. So who fucking cares?

I hope I don’t make anyone else depressed with me. o_o Society is what I call “The System”. The System wants to weed out people . . . See all those people that talk about Good vs. Evil? How there needs to be a balance of Light and Dark? They’re basically fucking saying we NEED for people to be murdered, we NEED for people to treat other people like crap, we NEED things to drive teenagers to suicide . . . So there’s a “need” for the people that can “survive” life to reach the top of the corporal ladder etc.? Whilst other people that “fail” at life just have to suffer ’cause that’s the way life goes! Oh deary me. Nothing fucking matters. =)

I just downloaded this song a few days ago . . . “Is it real?” by “THE SEATBELTS“. I’m listening to it right now, and if you scroll up to the top of my blog, to “Music”, you’ll see that “Is it real?” is hyperlinked . . . you can click on that and download the song too, if you want. It’s a brilliant song. Probably not to the taste of many people, but brilliant. It’s a song in the anime Cowboy Bebop . . . The song is in pure English. The lyrics are fucking fantastic . . .

I italicised two lines (the first and third) because they don’t apply to me . . . Everything else does, so I bolded them . . . The song is about warfare in space or something, but that doesn’t matter, as only a few lines refer to that, everything else is about the feeling, the emotion . . . the first line to the second verse still applies, ’cause flying can be taken metaphorically . . . like a broken wing, that keeps you from soaring . . . It’s like the perfect song to play on repeat if you were to commit suicide . . .

[ Music: Carly Simon - You’re So Vain ]
[ Mood: Hyper ]

So, I got my half-yearly (first semester) report in the mail today . . . Results are as follow. Exam Position is, quite obviously, the position I came in the half-yearly exams for the respective subjects. Assessment Rank is my position, therefore rank, in the grade overall in the respective subjects (this is done by adding up all assessment scores across the year thus far . . .). Effort Grade is just the grade the teacher sees fit. Comment is my comment on it. =P I rant I a lot. XD

Ancient History:
Exam Position - 2nd out of 37 students
Assessment Rank - 9th out of 37 students
Effort Grade - B

Comment: I did really crap in the very first assessment, that’s why I’m 9th overall. I had two really crap teachers then. After that, the Head Teacher took over for them, and thus, I did well for the half-yearly and came 2nd! The paper was split in two parts; first was New Kingdom Egypt, second was Sparta. And, you guessed it . . . the first two crappy teachers taught me New Kingdom Egypt, whilst the Head Teacher taught me Sparta. I actually got full marks for the Sparta section! =) And lost a couple of marks for the New Kingdom Egypt section. ¬¬ Still, the good marks for Sparta brought my ranking up to 9th. =) My teacher/head teacher of History is fantastic. =)

Community and Family Studies:
Exam Position - 10th out of 40 students
Assessment Rank - 8th out of 40 students
Effort Grade - C

Comment: The teacher hates me. And I hate the subject. The interdependent circle is thus complete! =D =P OK, I loathe CFS. =P If anyone in Australia in the 10th grade going into 11th next year reads this, READ! If you thought CFS was going to be “interesting” and decide to take it — DON’T! Red alert, red alert! =P Seriously. EVERYONE in my class HATES CFS and thinks it’s boring (because it is). It’s not one bit interesting. DON’T BE CONNED! SAVE YOURSELF! =P For me, personally . . . I found it boring because I found it too easy. And when you find something easy, you slack off. Which is what I did. Thus my crappy mark. (Obviously, though, most everyone else slacked off more than I did. o_o;) IT’S THE DEVIL SUBJECT! =P What really irritated me was that I felt like there was really no right or wrong answer . . . it was like your mark depended on who marked the exam, and thus their perspective on things. o_o; (I thought the teacher was shit too. ¬¬ I’ve concluded that the more above average teachers you find in your school, there are going to be the same amount of below average teachers to balance things out . . . Which is a pity. =()

English Advanced:
Exam Position - 7th out of 58
Assessment Rank - 11th out of 58
Effort Grade - A

Comment: Ah, English. My favourite subject. I always do better in the Extension subjects than the Advanced, though. XD But, this year, because of personal issues, I couldn’t concentrate . . . which, of course, led to my dropping out. It really annoyed/worried me that I hadn’t read even ONE novel or play in English Advanced or English Extension I. Which just makes me think I could’ve done way better in English subjects if I actually had read them . . . =(

English Extension I:
Exam Position - N/A, no half-yearly exam
Assessment Rank - 1st out of 12 students
Effort Grade - A

Comment: I don’t know how I managed to come first, lol. There were three other girls that I considered very above average in regards to smarts in English . . . I probably beat them by about one mark or something. XD

English Extension II:
Exam Position - N/A, no half-yearly exam
Assessment Rank - 1st out of 7 students
Effort Grade - A

Comment: Major Work! The major work I will never have to hand in . . . =( I just got 10/10 for the Proposal. That’s it. Nothing special. The day the second assessment (Viva Voce?) was held was the day I stopped going to school . . . I didn’t care anymore. =( But, my English/Extension I/Extension II teacher is excellent. =)

Modern History:
Exam Position - 7th out of 21 students
Assessment Rank - 2nd out of 21 students
Effort Grade - A

Comment: Another teacher I loved. =) Another subject I loved as well. XD Except, as I’ve said time and time again, I began to lose concentration . . . thus my crappy exam position. =(

I’m out of things to say at this point, lol. I’m pretty happy with my report . . . except, you know, they’re not valid because I’ve dropped out and everything. =P Ahh, well. Life goes on . . . right?

[ Music: James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover ]
[ Mood: Loved ]

So . . . my 18th birthday was on the 5th of September. =P Yes, today is the 26th, but who cares. XD I got presents from Alisha and Claire today! =) (CONSPIRACY? =P) And Steph made me a birthday banner. ^^

From Alisha, I got a Westfields gift voucher for $40. The gift voucher had pictures of chocolate on it. The card she sent had chocolate on it. She mentioned chocolate in what she wrote. So I thought it was a gift vocher for $40 worth of chocolates! XD I was thinking “Does she think I’m fat or something?” XD Then she told me it was for any store in Westfields, not just for chocolate. =D Maybe I’ll buy James Blunt’s album . . . XD Or $40 worth of French Fries at McDonald’s. XD (No, I hate McDonald’s now. =|) *HUG* Oh, on the back of the envelope she sent the card and gift voucher in, she drew Ishida Yamato. ~_~ And placed his return address instead of her own . . . “Odaiba, Japan”. o_o; He’s a cartoon character, by the way. XD Freaky child, ne? =P Well, her present to me wasn’t nearly delayed as my present to her was. XD I sent her this (she says my real name on that page, by the way =P) in May . . . or June? I can’t remember. XD And her birthday was in April. =P Not only that, but the presents were for her 19th and 20th birthday! XD I was over a year late. XD *cough* Moving on! =)

From Claire I got a beautiful bracelet!! =) And a Kurt Cobain graphic comic! XD My mum wanted to see what I got, so I showed her . . . then she began flipping through the graphic comic and I became on edge, trying to get it away from her before she saw the nudity. XD XD XD It was quite funny. =P What I loved more was actually the card Claire got me . . . =( It had a cute little cat under a cloud with rain falling down on it . . . (”Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head” — Grey’s Anatomy, Season 2 Episode 1. LMAO. XD)

It made me smile and have a “moment”. XD You know, one of those sentimental “aww” moments? I rarely have one of those. It really meant a lot to me. =) She’s so sweet . . . I’m currently in a state where I’ve isolated myself from the people that mean the most to me . . . I haven’t spoken to Claire (or Roxanne, my other best friend) in a while . . . and she still sends me presents. =( I seriously just want to snap out of this funk I’m in . . . =( I haven’t signed into my personal email account in ages (which is the one for my friends), I’ve only been using my public email address (one for my websites). I really need to get in contact with them . . . but I don’t know why I just . . . can’t . . . =( Claire, if you’re reading this, I love you. And I’ll get in touch . . . soon-ish. =( *HUG*

Steph made me this:

*HUG* =) It’s a picture of my future hubby, Kamenashi Kazuya. XD And don’t say anything about the way he looks. =P I know he’s feminine, OK!? XD

Oh, and my sister bought me $100 worth of doujinshi. >=) If you don’t know what doujinshi is, you’re better off not knowing. XD XD XD

I go now~! =)

[ Music: Vitamin C - Friends Forever (Graduation) ]
[ Mood: Melancholic ]

I was supposed to graduate from high school last Friday, the 23rd of September. Supposed to, because I dropped out 4 months prior to said graduation. Sigh.

And I’m listening to “Friends Forever”. -_- I remember back in 7th or 8th grade, I’m not quite sure which, but we were allowed to watch the graduation of the current Year 12s, and they played this song. And I remember thinking “In a few years time, in 2005 . . . that’s going to be us. Me.”

Apparently, I was wrong. =(

But I’m over it. I am. OK, I’m still clinging to it a bit . . . but I’ve come to terms with it. I know I couldn’t cope through school in my current state. I just couldn’t. And fuck all those that say “can’t” means you “won’t”. Fuck YOU. =)

I hate using this word . . . seriously, I don’t know, it sounds so mediocre. Depression. Urgh. My enemy. =( Have I come out of it? Nope. I haven’t left my house since I dropped out. That’s about 4 months and 1 week. Yep.

My sister keeps telling me I just need to get out and have fun, get a job and get into a routine than I’ll be OK . . . I was in a routine going to school. How much did that help me? I think I need professional help. Except, I’m too damn . . . I don’t know, proud? No. I’m too damn something to seek it. I don’t think they can help me. Because, you know . . . if you’ve read my past posts (one in particular), you’ll get the idea that I think life is total nothingness anyway, and nothing matters. Unfortunately, I still think that way.

Anyway, change of topic. My mum is the master of secrets. ~_~ She just revealed to us that she has a half-sister and two half-brothers . . . and this was only because her dad just found the half-sister (I have a little niece too, whee! ^^ . . . I wish it was a guy, though, lol). ~_~ We asked her “Why didn’t you tell us you had half-siblings?” And she replied “Oh, didn’t you know?” . . . THE FUCK? -__-

And thus, I find out my grandfather is a BIGAMIST. Well, I actually don’t like him that much, ’cause I think he’s SEXIST. OK, so the whole Asian population (mass generalisation) in Asian countries (as opposed to Asians living in Western countries . . . well, the “young” ones such as me, anyway, since the “grown ups” pretty much still hold the values of those living in Asian countries) is SEXIST, so he grew up in that type of environment . . . But still. ¬¬ I mean, when I learnt my Thai friend’s father had OTHER WIVES AND CHILDREN I was shocked and disgusted. Not to her face, of course . . . But I was. And now, to find that MY OWN GRANDFATHER had THREE WIVES all living under the same fucking roof? -_- ASIANS ARE BIGAMISTS. PERIOD. Except, in Asian countries, it’s not illegal to be a bigamist. -_-

So, I might be going to Laos in a few months . . . might. I hope so, because I had a blast the first and only time I went there, which was back in Year 6. I made great friends with four of my cousin’s cousins; Fanta, Ning Nong, Barn Tip, and Julie. Sure, you can laugh at their names. =P Fanta was/is a year older than me, Ning Nong and Julie are my age, and Barn Tip is my sister’s age . . . I just found out Fanta has been married for a year with a baby. ~_~ And Julie is getting married this year. What’s the rush? =P LET’S ALL GET MARRIED AT 18! ~_~

Actually, I wouldn’t mind. I NEED A MAN! =P I need to become a gold digger, LMAO. XD Wouldn’t that be fantastic, though? XD *cough* OK, OK . . . You know what I need? To get L**D. Guess what it says? LMAO. XD *cough*

I go now! =)

*Goes back to downloading illegal episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, The O.C., Australian Idol, and miscellaneous Japanese shows.*

[ Music: Sugababes - Ugly ]
[ Mood: Placid ]

As the title states, this is a “stationary October post”. =P Blank! Blank! Blank!

Sue me, I’m a perfectionist. x) I didn’t want “October” to be left out in the “archives” on the side. =P

Oh, and just because I’m writing this up and all . . . HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO CLAIRE FOR THE 29TH. =P

Bye-Bye-Bicycle! x)

[ Music: Shuji to Akira - Seishun Amigo ]
[ Mood: Tired ]

Starstruck Edition:

Dude.

Kamenashi Kazuya is a Japanese Teen Idol from the undebuted Johnny’s Jr. group KAT-TUN. And my future hubby.

Yamashita Tomohisa (YamaPi; hereafter referred to as “Pi“) is a Japanese Teen Idol from the debuted Johnny’s Jr. group NEWS. I hate him.

There is a Japanese Drama currently airing this season called “Nobuta. wo Produce“.

The viewership for said JDrama is as follows; Episode 01 - 16.1%. Episode 02 - 14.9%. Episode 03 - 17.0%. Episode 04 - 16.4%. Episodes 05 - 11 - Yet to Air.

It’s a popular drama.

Kazuya stars as Shuji, whilst Pi stars as Akira.

The ending theme song for this JDrama is “Seishun Amigo“.

A temporary new unit was formed called “Shuji to Akira” (Shuji & Akira). This unit, of course, comprises of Kazuya and Pi. “Seishun Amigo” is their single.

This single was released on the 4th of November. It broke records in Japan by selling one million copies within four days of its release. There were two editions; limited and regular. Being the foolish fangirl I am, and adhering to Johnny Kitagawa’s plan at raking in cash, I bought both editions. I am very happy because both editions had fucking hot Kazuya scans for me to drool over. =P

This is a screenshot of Shuji to Akira’s performance of “Seishun Amigo” at Music Station on the 28th of October, when the credits for the song appeared onscreen.

The composers of “Seishun Amigo” are; zopp, Shusui, Fredrik Hult, Jonas Engstrand, and Ola Larsson.

Right. Right?

Dude.

Ola Larsson emailed me.

!

At first I was skeptical. I’ve seen people on forums etc. say things like “Oh, I just had a chat with Kazuya” . . . right, sure you did. ¬¬ So I know there are people out there that are professional posers, for whatever reason. So how did I find out if this “Ola Larsson” was for real?

Well, the first thing I did was check the credits on the “Seishun Amigo” performances to see if the guy that emailed me misspelt his name, ’cause if he did, he was obviously fake, right?

Right. So I checked, and he didn’t misspell it. But I still wasn’t convinced. Then his email address registered in my brain! And I thought “I should check out the domain he’s emailing from . . .”. And so I did.

Turns out it’s actually his website. And on their info page, it says “JamZone was founded in late 2000 by Fredrik Hult and Ola Larsson.” Fredrik Hult was also credited on the performances!

It also says; “Since they teamed up, they’ve been writing and producing songs for top selling artists like: KinKi Kids - Belinda - Fredrik Kempe - Tamaki Nami - Gaute News etc.” Now, I don’t know the other artists listed, but I do know KinKi Kids; they’re former Johnny’s Jrs., having already debuted years ago to become Johnny’s Entertainment recording artists.

Did this cement the fact that Ola Larsson was for real? Yes, yes it did. =) Afterall, I don’t think the guy would make a whole website just to con little ol’ me. o_o;

Dude.

Ola Larsson emailed me, who is one of the composers behind “Seishun Amigo“, which is Shuji to Akira’s single that sold a record one million copies within four days in Japan; Shuji being Kazuya my wet dream.

!

ZOMFG I WAS SOOOOOOOOO GIDDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

I know some people would be like “So what? He’s just a composer”. But dude, it’s a big deal to me. I think anyone involved with the entertainment industry is gold. I think anyone that has any remote relations to Kazuya is gold, regardless if they’ve never met before. *_*

!

An exclaimation mark explains my emotions. *_*

Closing Image — Shuji to Akira’s Limited Edition “Seishun Amigo” cover; Akira (Pi) is on the left, Shuji (Kazuya) is on the right. Yes, the hot one. x) Oh, and here’s a plug to my site; PRETTY BOYS. Ola Larsson emailed me through that site. =)

Disappointed Edition:

. . .

T-T

. . .

Dan England was voted off Australian Idol 3/2005 tonight.

. . .

Dan England isn’t the Australian Idol.

. . .

T-T

. . .

WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

A mere 27 votes was separating Dan England and Lee Harding who can’t sing for shit. 27 votes! Not 27 percent, but 27 votes!

WHAT HAPPENED AUSTRALIA? DAN WAS THE MAN!

Now the title will go to Lee Harding, Emily Williams, or Kate IDon’tKnowHerLastName.

I hate all of them. -_- Nothing personal of course (I’m not a psycho o_o;), I’m sure they’re all nice people and everything, but I don’t like any of them.

Emily’s probably lead to win . . . But I get the feeling Kate might be a dark horse like Casey Donovan (it’s a miracle I even remember her name . . .) and win. But who cares!

DAN IS GONE.

It just sucks that the most talented person has left, and I won’t be able to see his weekly performances anymore. =( He will probably get a record deal though, and release an album next year . . .

But next year is so long away . . .

=(

Oh, and sue me for watching Australian Idol. ¬¬ I’ve heard a lot of artists live. Dude, the cunts on Australian Idol/American Idol/whatever do sing better than most of them, consistently. Or at the very least, are definitely up to par with current artists, talent-wise.

Stop being pulled in by their touched up studio voices. x_X

Oh, and if you’d like to hear Dan the Man, go here. =)

Shuji: “Bye-bye-bicycle!” (Nobuta. wo Produce)

Okay, cutting right to the chase, I apologise to all those who have applied for hosting this year. Some of you were really talented and under normal circumstances I would’ve said ‘yes’ had I not been so . . . lazy.

Cough.

But the main reason was that I didn’t think I had enough room for more hostees, either. =| Yes, I really should change that “OPEN” to “CLOSED” . . .

(But if you were one of those who applied for hosting his year, if you wish to do so, you may send me an email saying you’d still like to apply . . . I’m alert this time, swears! But really, do you want to be hosted here? I’m a bit self-absorbed if you hadn’t noticed. =P)

Now! The reason for this out-of-the-blue post — I really want to delete some subdomains. Because, well, they’re taking up unnecessary space and bandwidth (as they’re just sitting there doing . . . nothing). Space and bandwidth that I need for Johnny’s Pretty Boys and JPB Forum to function. (You know, without paying excess bills . . .)

So! Hostees, listen up!

I’m going to list the subdomains of those who I will not be deleting. If your subdomain isn’t listed, and you would like it to be kept because you’re doing stuff I am currently unaware of (o_O), please reply stating so including what the hell you’re doing. =P Otherwise, if you do not, I will just delete your subdomain. x(

This seems rather abrupt, doesn’t it? Well, perhaps because I haven’t deleted anyone’s subdomain since 2003 . . . I feel rather justified in doing so? o_O Who knows.

The following subdomains WILL NOT be deleted come August 31st, 2006:

drowning
eternal
vicky
kathee
mind-c
pompi
zlx
shinn
rake
meteor-sky
crimson
reii
ellen

If your subdomain is NOT listed, you WILL be deleted!

I’d appreciate it too if those who are currently on “hiatus” on the above list would tell me whether they do actually plan to come back, or whether I can just delete their subdomains.

Remember, if you are not on the list, you have over a month (until August 31st, 2006) to reply to this post giving me reasons as to why I shouldn’t delete your subdomain.

You know, like you’re doing stuff (BE SPECIFIC!), plan to do stuff (BE SPECIFIC!), or are doing stuff (BE SPECIFIC!) and I just blatantly ignored you . . .

Okay the last one was a joke. x)

Out!

But first! Hostees, please remember to read the post below this one entitled “Oh Em Gee, It’s A Post.“. If you don’t, your subdomain might be gone by August 31st and you might not know why, gasp! D:

[ Music: Johnny Cash - Hurt ]
[ Mood: Exhausted ]

HOLY MOTHER OF COW.

Last week I started my first job EVS! WHO WOULDA THUNK IT!?

::runs around in glee . . . in slow-mo because I’m dead tired::

Thanks to Alisha (_melee_ a.k.a. my English Idol slash God) for getting me the job (it’s nice to have friends, isn’t it? ^_^). I didn’t have to be interviewed or turn up with a resume or anything. I just turned up and started working. So, yay!

But, the irony? =P I dropped out of school. You all remember this, right? I dropped out because I had . . . issues. But I will forever cling to the fact that I was coming 1st in both English Extension I and II. *cough* Dropping out was easily the worst thing that has happened in my life (thus far). So, I dropped out after the first semester of Year 12, before I was to take the HSC (SAT equivalent). The institute in charge of the HSC is the Board of Studies.

. . .

I now do clerical work for the Office of the Board of Studies (OBOS). =P

Oh I lurrrve eet! =)

I get paid AU$17.62 (US$13.51) an hour. This gives me a thrill (OH HOW I GLOAT), as I know most (if not all) of my friends get paid AU$8~AU$12 an hour. I love it. XD; BAD COMPETITIVE KANDI! D:

My work is awfully easy . . . it feels like I’m doing Work Experience! Back in Year 10 I did work experience for one week at HMV Australia and one week at All Phones. But then I guess that makes sense, because work experience is to give you the experience of work, right? XD I just thought it would be harder, that’s all. =P I, like, slept in my chair for an hour today (my boss told me to “relax”! =P) . . . sometimes, I swivel around in my chair to pass time. But that gets me dizzy. Yeah. D:

Today was my seventh day of work! Last week . . . I worked for SIX days. -_- Monday to Saturday. I only got yesterday (Sunday) off all week! >_< Monday to Friday I woke up at 5:30 AM to start work at 8:00 AM and finish at 3:30 PM. I get a half hour lunch break . . . at 1 PM. -_- Why? BECAUSE ALISHA EATS AT 1:30 PM and we "compromised" to eat at 1 PM! I FREAKIN' STARVE BY 10 AM! =P

On Saturday I woke up at 6:30 AM to start work at 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM . . . BUT IT WAS A DAMN SATURDAY. T_T I got paid Time and a Half for the first two hours and then Double Time for the remaining hours -- which is the only highlight. =P

Sunday . . . I mostly slept. CAN YOU BLAME ME? I've never worked in my life then when I get a job I work for six days straight! =P And today (Monday) . . . I worked overtime. -_- I get paid Time and a Half for overtime, which is good, I guess . . . but man, I finished at 6:30 PM and I was afraid of getting raped, LOL. =P

But there's more! Tomorrow . . . I'm working overtime again. T_T Pray I don't get raped! =P

Actually, it wasn't that bad. =P There were plenty of people around. XD And wow, as I walked out of work, I saw so many asians. Little typical asian girls. Like, WTF? o_o Do they all come out at night? Do they all want to get raped? LOL.

It was weird, though! I saw so many people who looked like my friends! I walked out and saw this girl and was like "Hey, she looks like May!", but she wasn't. =P Then as I got into the train station, I bumped into Diana!

http://regret-less.org/images/05.jpg

She's the one in the middle. =P GUESS WHO I AM? Or don't. ^_^

I pointed a finger at her like the freak I am and went "You!". XD She looked at me for a second before her mouth formed an "o". XD The last time I saw her was at the Liverpool train station last year back when I went to school and she went to TAFE . . . so it's been a while. =P

She had a hawaiian necklace thingy on and she was with this blond guy. I would've checked him out (as I have a thing for blonds *cough*) but I was too entranced with Diana. TRUE FRIENDS! rofl. =P

She told me she does Promotions Work! I have no idea what that is so I just nodded and smiled and might have even let out a "cool". =) We talked for a total of, oh, about twenty seconds . . . TRUE FRIENDS. rofl. I think she was missing her train. =P (THAT OR SHE HATES ME, GASP!)

Then when I went downstairs to wait for my train I saw a thousand (possible exaggeration) look-a-likes of Anita! Katty! Lynn! AND A SCARY HYBRID OF ANITA AND NINA! . . . Asians must all look the same. XD

When I got on the train I thought someone looked like a girl who used to be in one of my classes at Liverpool Girls'. When we got off at the same station I knew it was her! But she's not my friend so I suppose she doesn't count. =P

I got home at around 8:15'ish . . . I hate how it takes me an hour and a half to get to and from work -- three hours of travelling in total! =( Actually, travelling to and from work is the only thing I hate about my job. o_O

If OBOS was right next door to me I'd work there forever and stay happy. XD

Oh, my little (okay, she's freakin' taller than me T_T) 17-year-old sister picked me up from the train station . . . IN HER NEW FREAKIN' CAR. She got a car today. A black one. A Mitsubishi FTO, she tells me (whatever the hell that is -- she tells me it's a sports car . . . though the only thing that "FTO" makes me think of is Kanjani8's album, rofl). I googled it! "Information about the Mitsubishi FTO from Japan.". JAPAN! I guess that's a plus! XD I clicked on the first link and THERE WAS HER CAR ON THE FRONT PAGE! D:

http://www.mitsubishi-fto.org/

Here's actual pictures of HER car (NO THAT'S NOT OUR STREET!):

I didn’t say anything about it, but I think it’s freakin’ cool. XD; I don’t plan to tell her that, though — I’m just mean. =)

My family consists of five people. My Mum, Dad, older brother, me, and little sister. We have four cars. Everyone but me has a car. Everyone but me has their full driver’s license. XDDD

I AM INCOMPETENT, OKAY. =)

Back to the job! This gig at OBOS is like the biggest step forward in my life. =P I initially did it for my parents . . . but now my eyes have turned into money, LOL.

So far, for seven days worth of work, I’ve made a total of AU$1030.76 (US$783.89)! ^_^

Gotta love Time and a Half and Double Time. =P

For some strange reason I’m starting to consider going to TAFE next year (I think that’s the equivalent of community colleges? I’m not sure) . . . but if I have to do both Year 11 and Year 12 all over again just to do my HSC — forget about it. =P

I will forever remain a loser. =)

My English skills have been suffering, though, as I haven’t been educated in over a year. =( I SUCKETH AT THEE PROPAR ENGLISH! D: Perhaps TAFE is an option . . . and I believe I can transfer to a university through TAFE . . . but I’m pretty sure I’d have to complete my HSC first. =P WHICH SUCKS. ‘Cause, yeah, I think they’ll make me re-do Year 11 so I can re-do Year 12 . . . and that’s just no thank you. =P

It’s way past my bedtime. T_T I used to sleep at like 3, 4, 5 AM . . . now I normally sleep at 10:30 PM. T_T It’s almost 12:00 AM. Drats! THIS IS WHAT OVERTIME DOES TO ME! I want my free time back. T_T

I have a million things to do! Like, um, email Jess back. She’s having family issues again and as her online bestie (self-proclaimed!) I should do something! . . . Tomorrow. =P

I’M SURE YOU CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT ME FOR ANOTHER DAY, JESSYPOO. I lived for weeks thinking you were dead, after all. =( TEAR! =P

::goes around hugging Jess and everyone else who happens to read this post::

PUPPY LOVE! ^_^

(I want a puppy just to name the damn thing “Puppy”. And I also want twin boys so I can name them “Ask” and “Tell”. Gotta love random thoughts!)